Loss...

This morning I had two messages from my friends in Texas sharing with me some very sad news. A very close friend of mine that I worked with in Texas at the hospital there was killed in a motorcycle accident last night. Rob and I both started working in the CVICU at the same time as brand new nurses so we kinda "grew-up" together. He taught me so much and was such a fun person to be around. We kinda had a joke on the night shift that we all had work spouses, someone that we always counted on to help us out during our shifts. Rob was mine. We always helped each other no matter what when we worked together. I remember telling him that I was pregnant with Emma and he was so excited for me. Will and I even spent the weekend with him and another friend of mine in Austin when a friend of ours got married.

Rob ended up leaving the unit we worked at to work at Children's in Dallas while I was on maternity leave with Emma so I never really got to tell him bye but I did talk to him a couple times in those following months. It's been awhile since I've heard from him since we moved to Mississippi but even so I still consider him to be a great friend. And so today the news I received broke my heart.

I've been thinking back on conversations I had with him and how I asked him about his religious beliefs several times but I honestly cannot say for sure if I know that he is heaven right now. And this tears me up more than anything. I tried to witness to him through my own actions but was it enough? Should I have done more? Should I have pushed it further? I've been beating myself up all day but two very important people in my life told me that it is God who saves people and we are just the instruments He uses. So always remember to let God shine in all you do. You never know when that someone you love may be taken away.